Property of
by Houddy
Summary: Cuddy wakes up with a hangover, and a little something else. Also included is the prequel The Night Before to find out exactly HOW she came to be in such a compromising situation.
1. Property Of

PROPERTY OF...

Lisa Cuddy groaned and held her head. That must have been one hell of a party. She looked around the room. There was a man laying next to her. She didn't need to see who it was to know it was Gregory House. "Uhnh," she groaned and got up. She was naked, big surprise, and hurried to the bathroom, hoping not to wake him.

When she returned, now in a big fluffy robe, House was sitting up, staring at her. He had a strange little smile on her face.

"Shut up!" She snapped, even though he hadn't spoken. His grin broadened. "It's not happening again."

"You said that last time." House had decided to risk speaking.

"That was over fifteen years ago." Cuddy sat on the edge of the bed. She didn't want to, but the room spun too quickly when she was standing.

"So we were due." House slid one hand across the bed toward her, but she moved away.

"I was drunk House."

"I know." His grin threatened to split his face in half.

"Why are you grinning like an idiot?" She couldn't take it anymore.

"Did you look in the mirror while you were in the bathroom?" He let a small laugh escape.

"Yes?" She was getting worried.

"Both sides?" House weighed his words heavily with implication.

"No." She wasn't in the habit of checking out her own ass.

House thought for a moment. "Good. Don't." He got up, his naked body on full display and strutted into the bathroom.

She was gone by the time he got out.

He got back into bed and fell asleep on the side she'd recently vacated. It smelled of her perfume and sweat. He fell asleep, lost in happy dreams.

The phone woke him up. He stared at it, fear flashing across his face. She was going to kill him for this. He didn't answer, let the machine get it.

"House! Pick up this phone! House! I'm going to kill you! Not answering is just going to piss me off more! House! I'm warning you House! Pick up the..." his machine ran out of tape. He never remembered to erase the thing. Oh was she going to be pissed.

The next day at work he did everything he could to avoid her. That was not easy to do when he opened the door to his office and she was sitting in his chair. For a brief moment he thought of turning and running, but she probably had Brenda the Evil Henchwoman waiting with a baseball bat in the hallway.

"Hi," he said jovially.

She took a deep breath and glared at him.

"Feeling better?" Maybe she hadn't looked.

"No." She replied sharply.

"Great." He walked over despite his better judgement. "Mind getting out of my seat?"

"Why? Don't want me touching your PROPERTY?" She spat the word at him so forcefully it acutally hurt.

"Well, uh, you can play with it when I'm not around but..."

She stood up and shoved him hard. "How DARE you! What the hell did you use?" She pushed him again. He held his hands up to defend himself.

"Sharpie." He grinned weakly. "It'll fade eventually."

"Fade? I'll give you fade." She pushed him up against the bookcase. For the first time House noticed that all the shades where closed. How had he not noticed that till now.

"Uh, can't we talk about this?" She was scary when she was mad."

"Talk? You didn't want to TALK last night! What did you do, wait till I fell asleep?"

"I think the proper term is passed out." House corrected. He got another shove in response.

"I can't beleive you...no, the really sad things is, I can."

"It's funny, when you think about it," he laughed nervously, "isn't it?"

"Oh, I don't think you'll be laughing much longer." She grabbed his arm harshly and dragged him over to the desk. "Bend over!"

"What?" House felt her hand pushing down on his back. Before he knew it he was bent over his desk. He felt so...imascualted. And he was enjoying every minute of it.

"Shut up!" She pushed his head forward so he couldn't see what she was doing. He could hear it, and feel it though. First he felt her hands slide around to his belly and deftly unbuckle his belt, then he felt her fingers slid inside his pants and pull them down. Next he felt his boxers follow them to the floor. He felt his buttocks quiver.

Next he heard the cap pop off of something, then he felt the cold moisture of the marker slide across his smooth arse. He didn't have to struggle to figure out what she was writing. "Property of Dr. Lisa Cuddy." He smirked to himself.

She let him go and he stood up, craining to see her handywork. "Now we're even." She glared at him, flicking the marker against her hand loudly.

"I'll help you scrub your's off if you help me with mine." He grinned, pants still wrapped around his ankles.

"Call me in fifteen years." She placed the marker on his desk and glided out of his office. He watched her arse swish under the tight black skirt as she went. In his mind he could see his own name emblazoned across her fine, round arse. The thought made him smile.


	2. The Night Before

**THE NIGHT BEFORE**

"Come here often?" House slid next to Cuddy. She had been leaning against the railing, looking down on the festivities on the ground floor.

She laughed lightly. "Too often." She took the martini he was offering.

"You did it again." House leaned over and dropped the cocktail onion that had come in Gimlet onto someone's head. The hair had been to overly teased that she didn't notice as it nestled itself in.

"I should scold you for that." Cuddy looked at him with a smirk. It was Mrs. Randall, a notoriously bitchy donor that Cuddy couldn't stand, so House was off the hook.

"I wish you would." House wiggled his eyebrows and smiled. Cuddy nudged him in the shoulder with her own then took a sip of her drink.

"I'm...thank you for coming." House hated these events, so Cuddy considered it a great victory that she'd gotten him to show up. Of course it had cost her a weeks worth of clinic duty, but it was worth it, she hoped.

"I wouldn't miss this for the world." House's grin frightened her.

"You'd better behave yourself." She knew that look all too well.

"Or what?" House loved a good challenge.

"I'll think of something." She huffed and walked away. House remained leaning against the railing for a while, looking down on all the idiots who thought they would get into Heaven because they gave a small portion of their considerable fortunes to charity.

"What's up?" Wilson came over and stood next to him, his back pressed against the railing.

"My dick." House smiled. "Have you seen that dress Cuddy's wearing?"

Wilson snickered like a little boy. "Yeah...wow! If I wasn't a married man..." he drifted into happy fantasies about what he might do.

"It's never stopped you before." House joked.

Wilson turned and followed House's gaze. It took him straight down the front of Cuddy's strapless gown. Oh, life was good. "I dare you to...where's your onion?" Wilson looked at House's glass. He knew House hated those little cocktail onions. He only ordered Gimlets because he liked to be different than everybody.

House scanned the room, then pointed down at the woman with big blonde hair. It was hard to make out, but when Wilson squinted he thought he saw something white and round in that mess. "You didn't!"

"I did, and with Cuddy standing right next to me." It was one of House's prouder moments.

"And you lived to tell?" Wilson was in awe of House's ability to constantly dodge the bullet.

"I think she thought I was flirting with her."

"Were you?" Wilson wasn't sure he liked the idea of his two friends hooking up.

"Maybe." House gazed into Wilson's eyes. He was trying to read his friend.

"You should go for it. She's hot, and, "Wilson looked around to make sure they were alone, "rumour has it, she's got a thing for you."

"Really?" House perked up. Cuddy had a thing for him? Other than a restraining order? Or a death wish?

"Nurse Brenda told Nurse Wendy that Cuddy was overheard on the phone with a friend talking about how good you looked the other day in your blue shirt."

House laughed. Wilson was worse than an old lady. Still, this was good news. "I'll see you later." House walked away in a sort of daydream where he went downstairs, whisked Lisa Cuddy off her feet and carried her off to his cage where he would ravage her day and night until he was too exhausted to ravage any more.

Cuddy finally managed to get away from The Groper, a rather notorious millionaire with an over active libido and a totally outrageous opinion of his own attractiveness.

She turned to get away and nearly collided into the waiting House. "Oh, excuse me." She tried to side step him, but he stepped the same way. She tried the other way, but he blocked her again.

"If you want to dance, you just have to ask." Cuddy finally stopped moving.

"That's cruel." House waved his cane wildly, clearing the crowd away from them. "You know I can't dance." He pretended to cry. "Now you've hurt my feelings." He got attention from a few of the donors, but the doctors who knew him just glanced over then continued with whatever they were doing.

"House," Cuddy grabbed his arm, "don't you dare make a scene."

"What are you going to do to stop me?" House loved to see her angry. She got this little flush in her cheeks... that's how he imagined she must look right before she came. Oh how he'd like to find out.

She dragged him into an empty clinic room. "As long as you are a doctor in this hospital your ass is mine. If you do anything to take money away from this hospital, I will kick your ass from here to kingdom come."

"First off," House shrugged himself out of her grasp, "where the hell is kingdom come? Second of all, if my ass is yours, and you're going to kick my ass, doesn't that mean you'll be kicking YOUR ass?"

"Shut up!" Cuddy wanted to slap him, instead she kissed him. Crap! How much did she have to drink.

House was almost too startled to kiss back, but he got over it quick. He felt her trying to pull away and dropped his cane and wrapped his arms tightly around her. For a moment he felt her struggle, then she completely gave in.

He felt her tongue push it's way past his lips, felt it dancing around inside his mouth. He slid his around, almost trying to get her to chase it. She did. He felt her hands slowly slipping inside his jacket. She was taking it off. She was actually taking off his jacket. She was undressing him! House's senses went mad. His whole body tingled. He grabbed the back of her head and pulled her closer still. He wanted to devour her.

In a calculated error, House came up for air. That's when she pulled away. She looked at him with confused, hurt eyes. "What did you do that for?"

"You kissed me!" House reminded her.

"I made a mistake." She quickly ran out of the room. House let her go, bending down to pick up his cane. He couldn't have caught her anyway, not if she didn't want to be.

A while later Wilson caught up to him again. "So?" He nudged House's shoulder. "Got anything to tell me?"

"What?" House grumbled.

"You...Cuddy...an exam room..." Wilson nudged him again, knowingly.

"How the hell did you find out?" That had gotten House's attention.

"House, this is a hospital. Nothing you do here is a secret." Wilson patted his friend on the back. He was so proud. Making out with the boss was like the Holy Grail of office misbehavior. House was the King.

"I'm going home." House pushed past him and hobbled down the hall.

Cuddy, too, was headed out the door. She tried to avoid him as soon as she heard those oh so familiar footsteps coming toward her. She fumbled with her car keys and dropped them. "Shit."

She bent over to pick them up, but the rubber covered tip of a long oak cane stomped down on them. It slid across the ground until it stopped at a pair of black, patent shoes. House bent over and picked up the keys.

"Give those to me." Cuddy reached out to grab them, but House pulled them away.

"You are in no condition to drive."

"Oh, like you are? Give me my keys."

"I'm calling a cab." House stuck his hand in his pocket. Then he tried the other pocket. He checked both of his back pockets. "Uh, can I borrow your phone?"

Cuddy threw her purse at him, then leaned against her car. He was right, she was in no condition to drive.

House searched the bag, but there was nothing in it but some lipstick, a small mirror and some tissues.

"My phone is in my car, idiot!" Cuddy grabbed the purse and the keys from him and finally unlocked her car. She sat down and dialed the number to a car service.

"Why didn't you just call from the hospital?" House leaned on a pylon.

"Because I was trying to avoid you." She glared up at him, but it was a weak sort of glare. She really did have a soft spot for Gregory House, damn him.

It didn't take long for the car to arrive. Cuddy had insisted that it take them both home. House insisted they go to his house first. Actually he insisted they go ONLY to his house, but he allowed Cuddy to pretend they wouldn't both end up there.

"Walk me to the door." House stumbled getting out of the car. He knew the key to getting Cuddy to do what he wanted was to lay it on thick with the leg. She felt so guilty about carving out a portion of his thigh that he could manipulate her into anything, hopefully even his own bed.

"Walk yourself." She was too tired and too drunk and she knew what could happen if she stepped foot in his apartment.

"Suit yourself." House shrugged and after stumbling out of the car, made sure he tripped over the first step. As he knew she would, Cuddy came running out of the car and helped him to the door.

He smiled at her gratefully, and he really was grateful. It was nice to know that when he stumbled, she'd be there to help him up. Then he unlocked the door and nearly dragged her in. "I'll need help getting changed," he looked at her innocently.

"No." She was exhausted. The sofa looked so comfortable.

"Nightcap." House meandered over to the small bar.

"I'm not sleeping with you."

"Yeah, you said that last time." House's words were slightly slurred, he wasn't sure anymore if he was doing it on purpose, or if he was just that drunk.

"Just one drink." House handed her a glass of straight whiskey. It was his favorite nightcap.

"The car is waiting."

House pulled up the window, stuck his head out, and yelled at the top of his lungs. "We won't be needing you any more tonight. Thanks anyway." He waited. The car pulled away. He smiled and shut the window. "Not anymore."

Cuddy looked at him, defeated. She sipped her drink. "It's strong."

"It's straight." House guzzled his own drink.

"You're trying to get me drunk." Cuddy took another, bigger sip.

"Trying?" House looked at her incredulously.

"Okay, I might have helped, a little." She held her fingers close together to show him what a little was.

"You want me." House took of his coat and tie. He threw them both on the floor.

"You're such a slob." She either didn't hear him, or it didn't click because she neither confirmed nor denied his allegation, which he took to be a confirmation.

"Let's get you out of that dress." House slipped his hands behind her back and started fumbling with the zipper.

"Careful!" He pinched her accidentally. She pushed him off and took care of the zipper herself. "It's on the side you idiot." She unzipped it easily.

"Want another drink?" House had cleverly brought the bottle over with him before pouring their first drinks. He quickly picked it up and refilled the two empty glasses.

"It's not going to work you know." She picked up the glass and looked at him.

"What's not going to work?" House tried not to smile too triumphantly.

"You're not going to get me drunk and have your way with me." She took one long, slow sip from her glass, drinking nearly half in one sip.

"Of course not. You're already drunk, and I'm going to let you have your way with me."

Cuddy laughed. "You better believe it." She frowned as she tried to figure out what just happened.

"So, shall we adjourn to the bedroom or do you want to do it here on the couch?" House stood up and held out a hand for her. He would not be accused of not being a gentleman.

Cuddy looked around, at the leather couch and hardwood floors. "I'm tired."

"Well, then, let's get you to bed." House pulled her off the couch and held her tight against him. "You're beautiful."

"So are you." She started removing his shirt as he walked her into the bedroom. "I never tell you that, but I think you've got the most beautiful eyes." She tossed his shirt on the floor and ran her hands along his arms. "And surprisingly nice biceps." House shuffled her down the hallway. Her dress had fallen to the floor and he helped her step out of it. "And a strong chest." She rested her head against his chest. She could hear his heart beating.

"Yes, yes, now, you just lay down here, and I'll get protection." House hurried to his side table and opened the drawer.

"How many women have you been with House?" Cuddy made herself comfortable on the bed, propping her head up on the pillows and watching him as he shimmied out of his pants.

"What?" House looked at her, momentarily confused.

"Women, hookers, how many have you been with?" She knew he employed hookers. He had once charged one to the hospital during a convention in Florida.

"I don't know." House didn't have time to do math, his blood supply had been redirected and he wasn't in a thinking mood.

"I know there was Stacy, and that girl in Florida..."

"And you." House looked at her laying there in a pair of thigh high stockings, black thong and red heels. It was enough to make him rethink his atheism.

"Right. That was a long time ago." She laughed and her bare breasts giggled happily. House quickly pulled off his boxers and climbed onto the bed beside her.

"It was definitely in my top ten." It was easily in his top five, but there was no need to give her a big head, unless it was his.

Speaking of his big head, House began to roll the condom onto his penis.

"What are you doing?" Cuddy watched in horror, but also very impressed. She didn't remember it being so large. "We're not going to need that."

"I know, we're not having sex, but, just in case I bump into you accidentally."

"Do you plan on doing that?"

"If I planned on it, it wouldn't be an accident now would it?" His voice cracked as, halfway through his sentence she wrapped her fingers around his hard cock and pulled on it. "What the FUCK?????"

She laughed. "Yes." She ran her hand up his stomach, across his chest, then slid it around to the back of his neck as she pulled him down to meet her lips. She really was the best kisser.

House felt his head spinning. He was drunker than he'd thought. On the plus side, he wasn't feeling the tremendous throbbing pain in his leg.

He threw his leg over her body and climbed up to a sitting position. "I thought you said we weren't going to have sex tonight?" He teased her, rubbing one finger around each nipple.

"I lied." She took his shaft once more in her hand, and drove it deep into her. She let out a sharp gasp as she felt it's full mass inside her.

House began pumping up and down, following Cuddy's commands of deeper, harder, over, more, more, MORE!!!!

He came before she did, and collapsed on his side. He ran a hand along her sweat covered body.

"Oh no!" She took his hand and slid it between her legs. "You are NOT done yet, mister." She held his hand in place until she felt his long fingers wiggle their way inside her.

She helped him along by squirming around and arching her back into a shape House didn't think humanly possible, especially for someone her age. Oh, she would have kicked his ass if she knew he'd thought that. He smiled down at her, and kissed her breast sweetly.

He felt her fingers running through her hair as his tongue slid across the surface of her sweat skin. He felt her nipple hardening under his touch. He felt her getting wetter and hotter as his fingers danced around inside her. He felt her climaxing as he slipped another finger inside.

She grabbed the sheets and clutched them tightly, her back flew into the air as she let out a scream. House smiled when he thought of what the neighbors must think.

They lay side by side, panting and sweating. Her hand wondered around his broad chest. His hand squeezed and patted her toned ass.

She was the first one asleep. House crept out from under her to go take a wizz. When he came out of the bathroom, he stood there for a while, leaning against the doorframe and watching her sleep. She was face down, her bare ass tilted in his direction. It was a beautiful, perfect blank canvas.

His signature, mischievous smile spread across his satisfied, exhausted face. He was drunk and tired, otherwise he might have realized it was a bad idea. The marker was sitting on his desk, which he used to stabilize himself as he made his way back to bed. He convinced himself, later on, that the Sharpie had slipped into his hand, that he hadn't intentionally picked it up. It was harder, though, to convince himself that he had unintentionally written, in big, bold, capital letters across both cheeks of her perfectly formed ass, "PROPERTY OF DR. GREGORY HOUSE."

At the time, he sat there, on the edge of the bed, grinning like an idiot, so proud of his masterpiece. Then he 'unintentionally added, "Trespassers will be shot on sight," in smaller, more shaky letters.

If anyone else had been with them, House would have shifted the blame, but he was pretty sure Cuddy was going to figure out it was him who did it. Oh well, he shrugged, might as well enjoy it while it lasted. He grabbed his mobile and flipped it open. He took a quick picture for prosperity, and blackmail, and climbed back into bed. He would be dead tomorrow, so he might as well get a good nights sleep.


End file.
